Monday, May 5, 2008


Firstly I would like to thank the other product-testers for their endurance and for their naming of the product as a personal bio-fuel.

This is a new concept entirely, for powering even the most energy-hungry participant. It takes some months to prepare but once the fuel has been fully fermented, it provides enough energy to launch a personal rocket way into space. Currently it is in its 'beta' stage, having successfully passed its initialisation or 'alpha' phase. 'Beta' means that all safety mechanisms have not been fully refined but, on the whole, the product will perform at or above expectations. Sufficient quantities of the fuel are difficult to come by as yet, so some minor substitutions are sometimes allowed so as to fully test the lasting effects. These substitutions must contain as much or more of the raw product, or the test is rendered invalid and must be started again, from scratch.

On the weekend we were lucky enough to have been able to help test the fuel and to give it a score and fill in some missing details along with some other testers. Because there were four of us requiring the product, we each elected to substitute a mathematically approved percentage from a range of similar products, stored under lock and key in a private cupboard. The testing took place in our house on Saturday night and lasted well into the early hours of Sunday, such was the rigor of the scientific method. It was discovered early on that some people were more affected than others by the fuel but, due to the rules, we had to continue following the exact quotas, resulting in the documenting of some interesting side-effects, some predictable and some not.

By now you will be wondering what was the core ingredient that was being tested and how did we test it. The scientific name of the fuel is limoncello and its core ingredient was alcohol. Substituting other fuels, such as white wine, Bailey's irish Cream, Butterscotch Schnapps, and mulled red wine, amongst others, made the evening more ....lively than anticipated and most of the after-shocks were felt very soon after the completion of the experiment, when all intake of alcohol finished, as soon as the quotas and all bottles were completely empty - not a drop was allowed to be left in accordance with the experiment.

The testing followed a predictable pattern and required the drinkers to play an assortment of card games and another game called Yahtzee, which had been played by these same people during the testing of other bio-fuels, over the last 15 years (according to written records found on the Yahtzee score sheets.) I have no idea who won any games as I am not really into competition, as you will know, only wishing to experience the journey and its meanings. I don't think anyone else knows who won either, nor do we care. We discovered several vital facts that will be useful to the collators of the results, as they seek the perfect bio-fuel of the future, but no-one can remember them either.

At the 11th hour it was discovered that a piece of the experiment had not been recorded correctly, rendering the evening null and void and requiring us all to attend again before too long and go through the whole process correctly. Annoying as this is, we have decided that the potential for this type of hyper-action is so urgent and necessary to the survival of humanity that we are willing to forego other entertainment plans to take part, for the good of mankind. The only problem we encountered was that of the rule that all activities previously planned for the next day be forgotten and total and complete rest be enforced, to ensure side-effects such as headaches and the feeling that every cell of ones' body being rendered uncomfortable, to say the least, could pass in peace. Again we abided with the rules, even foregoing all connection with the blog.

Outcome of the aborted session: Life is good. Get there fast and then take it slow.

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